


The IKEA Incident (AKA Phil Coulson Regrets His Life)

by middle_earthling



Series: Avengers One Shots and Other Such Nonsense (AKA the AKA Series) [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers team - Freeform, Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/middle_earthling/pseuds/middle_earthling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the Avengers do stupid things and Coulson has to do a lot of paperwork.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The IKEA Incident (AKA Phil Coulson Regrets His Life)

Phil Coulson's letter of apology regarding the Avengers IKEA fiasco (unfortunately, not the first time he had had to write something like this since becoming the Avenger's handler) went a little like this. 

 

"Dear IKEA staff,

SHIELD would like to thank you for dropping the restraining order, and agrees with your decsision to ban the Avengers from all IKEA stores. I would also like to inform you that all damages done to the premises and stock will be covered by Stark Industries, except the coffee machines, because Mr. Stark says that "turning them into robots was for the good of society, and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong".

Doctor Banner would like to personally apologise for the destruction of the children's ball pit, but as he said "how was I to know that plastic balls, static electricity and lasers was a trigger for the big guy?". 

I would like to apologise on behalf of Agent Barton, as he doesn't seem to realize that building a nest in the roof and terrorizing small children from the rafters is a bad thing. 

Captain Rogers and Thor would like to apologise for the food fight, but as it was in self defence against the coffee machine robots, I don't think you can really hold them accountable, and Agent Romanov would like it to be known that she had no hand in any of this, and that her team mates are idiots. 

I would like it to be known that I completely agree with Agent Romanov. 

Sincerely,  
Phil Coulson. "

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I have made a new completely pointless Avengers fanfiction. This is incredibly short, I know, but last year I started writing this really long one shot about a bunch of things the Avengers do whilst at IKEA (all the things mentioned in the letter) but it got really long and wasn't very funny and made almost no sense, so instead it turned into this. I was also thinking about maybe writing more things like this, if this gets a positive response. 
> 
> Oh also, yes I did get the idea to write about the Avengers and IKEA from Scifigirl47's fic Phil Coulson Does Not Bake and the Avengers No Longer Shop at IKEA, but I asked her if it was cool to write this a while ago and she said yes. So like... don't worry.


End file.
